The Renovation Stress Test
Hey home dreamers and renovation warriors, let’s talk about real-life renovations—and how to navigate them without losing your mind (or your relationship). Whether your project is big or small, they all share a few universal truths:
They take time.
They cost money.
And they bring their fair share of strain.
Having been through several projects myself—both personally and professionally—I’ve seen how the right mindset and preparation can make or break the process. So, here are some reflections and tips to help you, no matter where you are on your renovation journey.
I’ve been there. As an architect and someone who’s lived through my own remodel (spoiler: it was rough), I know firsthand how challenging this can be.
Let’s not sugarcoat it—renovations can push even the strongest partnerships to their limits. Just see this article, and this one, and this one, and on and on. The numbers don’t lie:
70% of couples say renovations are a major relationship stress test.
39% regret even starting the project.
And worst case? 12-17% of couples split up during or after a home reno.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. With the right mindset, approach, and tools, you can turn this stress test into a bonding experience.
Survival Guide: Thriving Through Your Reno
Here’s how to make it out stronger, without losing your cool—or your partner.
Step 1: Get Crystal Clear on Your “Why”
Before you touch a hammer or call a contractor, ask yourself these essential questions:
Why are we doing this?
What’s NOT working in our current space?
What does success look like for both of us?
This isn’t just about logistics—it’s about designing a home that aligns with your life goals, whether that’s family, wellness, community, or career. For my clients, I call this the "Design DNA" process: digging deep to uncover your core values and priorities. Skipping this step is like setting sail without a map—you might get somewhere, but it won’t be where you wanted to go.
Step 2: Talk Money, Like Adults
Whether your budget is $10,000 or $1,000,000, clarity is key:
Be honest about what you can spend.
Decide where you’re willing to stretch.
And talk about financial responsibilities upfront.
Renovation costs can spiral if you’re not prepared. That’s why I always recommend tools like my Needs & Options Review to help clients map out realistic costs and timelines. Seeing the possibilities before you commit can save you from regret later.
Step 3: Choose Your Team Wisely
For bigger projects, your architect and contractor are like third partners in your relationship. For DIYers, your team might just be you and your YouTube tutorials. Either way, the principle is the same:
Communication is everything.
Choose pros with a proven track record.
And make sure they get your vision.
If you’re flying solo, a clear design plan is non-negotiable. Good design doesn’t just make your space look beautiful—it keeps you on track when things inevitably get messy, and will save you time and money.
Step 4: Don’t Forget to Laugh
Renovations are messy, unpredictable, and occasionally infuriating. Tiles will backorder, you’ll find things buried in your wall you wish you didn’t, and there will be moments when you wonder why you ever started. Find the humor in the chaos and remember: It’s about creating a home, not a magazine spread.
Why Design Matters (For Everyone)
No matter the size of your project, intentional design is the secret sauce that transforms stress into success.
It prevents costly mistakes.
It saves time and money.
And most importantly, it helps you create a space that supports the life you want to live.
Build Your Dream and Your Bond
Renovation isn’t just about walls and finishes—it’s about creating a space that reflects who you are as individuals and as a team. It’s about dreaming, problem-solving, and building something together—literally and metaphorically.
There will be hard days. But there will also be moments of magic when you see your vision coming to life. Keep that bottle of wine nearby, lean on your partner, and remind yourselves: You’re building more than a house—you’re building a home.
You've got this. 🛠️❤️
